You're just a step on the boss man's ladder

Guys, this is my last post for this blog. We've had a good time, I agree. However, the semester is finished. It's time for me to expand my horizons. See what the future holds. I could go and do a long reflection piece but what's the point? In the past few days I've learned that life is too short for bullshit. So. I'm going to go skydiving. And make a grilled cheese. As you explore the infinite abyss (that line is off of the movie Garden State, am i right?) and become adults (ha!) remember my advice to you, via Katy Perry: Take a chance, don't ever look back. Not that I like Katy Perry or anything. I just inspired the crap outta ya, didn't I, though. I probably should have been my high school's valedictorian. Anyways, Young forever!

nothing compares 2 u

I apologize for not posting in a while. I've been under the weather, crazy busy with school, and just being a lazy bum. I'd like to tell you guys a little story though. The other day I was talking to my friend about a mutual friend (this mutual friend is more like an acquaintance. one of those people who you smile to and ask how their summer vacation was and that you "missed them so much" but you really didn't. I mean, they might be nice people but on most days it's just a nuisance when you walk by them and have to have a two minute conversation about nothing with them). Anyways, my friend said, "You know those people who just have naturally, permanent bad breath?" And i was said, "no, oh god, is this a hint??" And he said, "no no, but you know, like _________(insert name of a particular girl here). Now, I was flabbergasted. This girl is PERFECT. She has the nicest teeth, and she is so FRIENDLY, and smart (SO SMART) and she is SO skinny but has big boobs and small feet and pretty clothes and she saves children in third world countries and doesn't even gossip. And so, for a few seconds (a few days, really), for some reason I was happy that this girl had at least one thing wrong with her. But then, this is exactly the problem in the world!! Why should I hate this girl? She is great. She is actually great. If she was a guy I would really, really, really, want to date her. Another story: one of my friends got punched in the face by a girl who found out my friend was the other woman. My friend didn't even know that her "boyfriend" was dating someone else. So why did she get punched? Because girls always blame girls and get jealous of girls. I'm pretty sure it's not an innate thing in girls to be bitches. I think we're all lovely. We're just so caught up in this jealousy train that it's fucking us up. Girls are constantly against one another. It's true. Girls constantly post bad photos of their girl friends on Facebook. I think they must think that juxtaposed to the carefully selected photos they posted of themselves in the same album that they'll look ten times better. But why does it have to be a competition? Why are we so secretly upset when other girls get scholarships or found a new boyfriend or got new boots? God, we really need to re-prioritize our lives and then maybe those poor African children could be saved by now. I'm not sure if this makes sense. I've had three cups of coffee this morning and a couple prescription pills. Here's a link for your reading pleasure. Good luck on exams and labs, guys (and girls too! I wish you the best!! just make sure you don't buy nicer boots than me).

Can you guys believe that this page has over 1000 views? Likely 700 of them are from me, but whatever. I still think it's pretty cool. I went to India this summer. Best time of my life. Well, no. It was hard sometimes. Sometimes I just wanted to die. But I mean, what an amazing experience, right. I was enrolled in classes at a university and one of them was called, "gender in India". Well, let me tell you. This class was sometimes really hard to get through. Not because it was boring or anything, but rather because of the crazy and sad stories we were told about how women were treated in India. For a place that invented the Kama Sutra, it seemed weird to me that they still burned their wives when their husbands died, they still participate in dowries (laws don't matter), and that a lot of times, an Indian woman's sole purpose was to be "beautiful", whatever the hell that means and to work to make their husbands happy. Even though elementary education is free for all children, including girls in India, there were crazy statistics about how many girls quit school there to help their families or because their families don't believe that girls need education. And there were so many stories of how they'd abort female fetuses or kill female babies because they were unwanted. And it just made me sick. Anyways, it makes me question what the fuck I'm complaining about here in Canada. I know, domestic abuse against women in Canada is a real thing. And I know that women get paid less than men (what is it 79 cents to the dollar in comparison?) and being whistled at by construction workers is embarrassing. But I really don't think Canada's case for equality is the same. I'm probably going to go out (knock on wood) and get a job and have equal chance of getting it than a male counterpart and if I'm treated unfairly, lord have mercy, I'm going to sue that company until it bleeds. And I've learned through my schooling enough that if my husband (if i choose to marry!) is beating me up I'm gonna send him to jail and get my whole community to hate him. And if a construction worker whistles at me it's because I look good because I'm allowed to wear whatever the fuck I want. Now this is only my own situation. I'd like to think of myself as an empowered female Canadian. I know there's probably a million female Canadians who wouldn't be able to do what I say I would do (And would I? Maybe I'm all talk) but all in all, we're doing a pretty okay job. In some sense, India is now in a position where most of its people know their treatment against women is wrong, at least a little bit. It's just still quite embedded in their culture as somewhat acceptable. I think that Canada's biggest problem is how most people agree about gender equality and the idea that beating on your wife is wrong, all the time. What we're dealing with is more of a quite sexism. Where, yeah, we blame rape victims and we call girls sluts and we let men make "get back in the kitchen jokes" I really don't know what I'm talking about though.

INDIA BABY GIRL!!!! D'AWWW

Not a Pretty Girl

Ani DiFranco is a feminist icon. I know this because Wikipedia says so and because my professor told me once. A friend of mine went to an Ani DiFranco concert once and she said that the audience was filled with angry, unshaven, dread-locked hippie, lesbian, women. I know everyone has the right to express themselves how they wish. Wikipedia says so. But WHY WHY WHY does it seem that to be a feminist you have to be hairy and have sex with other women? Maybe lesbians have actually internalized how society represses women because their experiences have likely been so much more blatantly sexist. But I don't understand why the 90 percent of women who identify as heterosexual seem to not recognize (to the extent of which it happens) all of the problems they face. AND I KNOW THAT THERE ARE PLENTY OF LIPSTICK WEARING, HETEROSEXUAL FEMINISTS OUT THERE. I am just saying, that the stereotype of a feminist is just what my friend saw at the concert. But yes, I like to think I'm a feminist. I'm not an intelligent one. I do not know all the theories or all of the causes. I am definitely an amateur. So maybe I am a fraud for wearing lipstick and just don't realize it. But I do listen to Ani DiFranco. And I only shave once a week. That counts for something.

sell it on the weekend

Oh, hey there. For quite a while I've been this angry girl who has hated all men except my papa. Recently though, I met this guy and my God, what a friggin sweetheart. And I think he's given me a new perspective on men all around. I mean, yes, men are horn dogs. But it's not their fault. And women are too. In fact, in my new relationship I have the bigger sexual appetite than he does. It's embarrassing. But then I tell myself that it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Anyways, I guess I've always known that yes, the majority of guys are good and decent. It's just that I always found the bad ones. Looking back, it has been my fault because I had a sign on my forehead that said, "willing to put up with bullshit and abuse for a temporary boost in self-esteem". A few nights ago, a few friends and I (not to be named) watched porn because we were worried we were bad at sex because we've never really been taught to know what we're doing, right. I mean, I guess we've read Cosmo since we were 12 but something tells me what they say is bullshit. So we watched the porn. We chose amateur porn because we figured that it would be more realistic, y'know. Man oh man, thought. It was disgusting. And on the side it had these flashing images of oily asses. Something tells me that this porn thing is bullshit too. I haven't seen the full realm of it or anything but just this little taste of it was really disturbing. And I realize that sex doesn't look good ever, anyways. But there was something really tacky and nasty about the stuff we watched. And I know that if tacky and nasty is what you like then you should go for it. I can't explain the badness of what we watched though. I was thoroughly disappointed. I didn't learn a damn thing, no new moves, no new positions, no new toys to use. I only learned how demeaning this shit was.

Scary Slut

This is from a campaign against sexy/racist Halloween costumes, especially for kids. It is ironic that Emma Watson was photoshopped for this ad. However, I know that she's said things like, "I find the whole concept of being 'sexy' embarrassing and confusing' so I can say that she's still a good face for this campaign. Our culture essentially expects female teenagers and adults to be sexy on Halloween. It's this weird dialogue where women want to be sexy themselves but often complain about other women doing this too. As Jenna Marbles in this video says, "girls walk into a bar, club, party, on any night, not just Halloween, they look around and what's the first they do? "oh my god, see that girl over there? argh, what is she wearing? that girl is a fuckin' hoe". Women are turned against one another. We call each other sluts or whores. Every day, not just on Halloween. Last year I got bitchy at my friend for sleeping with a lot of guys. What is your opinion? Are sexy Halloween costumes bad? Do they objectify women for the purpose of men's sexual pleasure? Or are they empowering? Most importantly, am I a bad person?

my veejay's too small for y'all

Here are some links to some really interesting sites.

Why women aren't crazy

You can get laid without being a jerk

The end of gender

The Seventeen Magazine Project

^This last one is my absolute favourite. I just love it so much.

So.The other day I was in the livingroom eating chips (typical) and two of my guy roommates were talking about sex (typical). I asked them what a girl's "number" would have to be for it to be problematic for them.

Guy number one said, "Anything more than me,"

Now this guy is the funniest. He is so into growing facial hair and hockey and his Nike sneakers and "wheeling" girls. His comment just further displays the the hypermasculinity society has imposed on him. He thinks he'd be less of a "man" (whatever the hell that means) if a girl "wheeled" (can a girl wheel a guy? I don't exactly know what wheeling means)more guys than his number. See, with him I felt bad for him. I think he's almost a victim to society's standards.

But then my other roommate, who I usually consider to be quite sexy said, "Girls and guys are different and it completely throws me off if a girl has done a bunch of guys and if I girl had sex with more than ten guys I wouldn't want anything to do with her".

So I get that he's a victim of hypermasculinity too but his comment made me sort of mad. I mean, what would he do if his soul mate had sex with eleven guys? Dump her in a ditch? And girls are "different"?. Hey, we all wanna get laid. I want to get laid right now. And I imagine he does too. But we're still different? So he's allowed to go to Sassy's and pick up a girl and I'm not.

Anyways, after he said that he said, "you're not gonna put this in your fucking blog are you?"

Ssssshhhhhhhhh.......It's our little secret.

Dyin' Over Here

These are some photos of my body. They make me want to die.



This is my front.



Backside.



The side. PUKE IN MY MOUTH.


My left boobie is noticeably bigger.



Flabby McFlab.



Pass the butter. Need it for my rolls.



No.



Prime Triple A Steak.



Dead.



This is me.

Kidding. This is Kaley Cuoco. Fooled you.



This is me.

I used to be skinny and now I'm not and it stresses me out because my male roommates say that Kaley Cuoco is the hottest piece of shit alive. And everyone else who is famous is thinner than me. And all my friends. And I know that we're not supposed to compare ourselves to famous people and the media is bad because it makes us feel bad about ourselves and our body images and self esteem because we can't compete with the implants and injections and personal trainers of Hollywood. And I'm a sociology student and I've taken classes on this stuff and I know it's impossible to be like these people. But I still feel really bad about myself all the time.

I really do blame it on the media because we're obviously so bombarded with all the skinny bitches. That's not new to anyone, I'm sure. I feel like it's affecting me a lot more lately than it has in the past. Really due to the freshman fifteen I gained three years ago.

The whole concept of taking photos of myself in my bra and panties made me miserable. I actually felt like shit and I still feel like shit. But a little bit empowered because I'm sure a lot of other girls wouldn't have done it at all.

I dare you guys to. do it.

And actually, as I think about it now, I think I look pretty fuckin' hot. But for some reason I am craving celery and water.

How do you guys feel?

Feminazi

When I was in second year university, my super duper cool friend named Carrie linked an article on my Facebook on the debate about whether or not it is a smart move for women to go bra-less or if it just objectifies women. I am pretty sure the article was featuring this festival where women were going topless to voice their respect for the bodies. Some women felt that bras were empowering while others thought they made you victim of a patriarchal society. Or something. For the life of me I can't find that link. I've been googling for a good six minutes and still nothing.

Anyways, as we all know, I hate bras. But I don't let my tits (I HATE THE WORD "TITS". EW. I REALLY JUST FIND IT DISGUSTING. I THINK IT'S THE CACOPHONY OF THE T'S) flail around as a form of feminism or to hope to make guys' eyes pop out of their head. It's not so much as a feminist thing; it's more of a lazy/comfort thing. And I find it really hard to correctly clip the back of it together every day. Yesterday, I undressed to go to bed (alone) and I noticed that all day my bra had been twisted in the front. ooooops.

Still though, I hope I'm not being objectified?

Here is the start long spiel of the objectification of women in the media. I think I'll just touch on the aspect of voicelessness right now and save the rest for later. This is for two reasons: 1) I need a whole semester worth of blog topics to write on and 2) I got places to be (meaning that Jeopardy is on soon).

It's only if you've been living on top of a mountain in Nova Scotia for the last two centuries you may not have noticed that women are constantly made into voiceless objects in advertisements and TV and in music videos and in movies and in everything. Hello Kitty doesn't have a mouth does she?

I don't think I'm that extreme of a person to think that the makers of Hello Kitty sat in their studio apartment in Japan and thought, "Hehehehe if she doesn't have a mouth that'll put all those bitches out there in their place." I'm just assuming that the decision was a product of an almost unconscious internalization of what is around us in other media all the time. I don't know where it all started or anything, I'm just chattin' here.

Here's my personal favourite.



Hmmmmm. I wonder if she's keeping her bra on as a sign of empowerment or subjugation?

half a cup of shame

The other day (yesterday) I walked to the grocery store after class. I was sweating. I had to open the door to the frozen vegetable section to stick my head in and cool down a bit. I didn't buy vegetables, though. I actually bought chicken nuggets ($4 a box. what a deal). Also, I was super excited because I had a coupon for a free bottle of dip if you bought two bags of chips. It was a pretty awesome feeling. It was 5:30 and I had dreams of going home and eating chips and watching Golden Girl reruns at 6:00.

--It should be noted that I had my Indian parachute pants on. Just because it's been hard to get my jeans to fit lately. Too many deals on the Ruffles.

Anyways, I was in the check-out line and something devastating happened. There they were. Buying blueberries together. Or some other berry. That guy who I used to love and that friend of mine who he now loves more.

Picture it, I want you to picture it.

Anyways, I was a bit embarrassed. But for the first time in a long time it was almost comforting. I think I'm finally over it. I mean, they were going home to eat blueberries and get the shits. I had chips (and onion dip!) and the Golden Girls were waiting for me at home. Of course, I have my awesome roommates too.

So, this brings me to my point: if it wasn't for the goddamn media telling me that I needed to keep a guy happy to make me happy this situation would never have happened.

I'll highlight some goodies from this month's Cosmo:

"The one text you should never send him"

"8 Things Guys Notice About you Instantly"

"The Naughty Bedroom Game you need to play tonight"

These titles are sending a message to women that if you don't do these things for men you won't be happy. They also make me want to puke in my mouth.

I won't even start on how magazines also equate the ability to keep a man as a reflection of how skinny you are. But read this (it's from 1999 so a bit outdated but I think it's still relevant today.

We're just obsessed with it. It's not our fault. We've been bombarded with the same messages over and over. Every chick flick out there has the same plot, where a woman is intrinsically unhappy until she finds the man of her dreams. What I hate the most is it affects young girls. Because at least I've taken enough classes on gender and sexuality and human rights and shit to know that I should reject these messages. And it's still hard enough for me to not oblige to them. Yes, I read that Cosmo because no matter how much I try, I do care. I now know that I should never call a guy out on giving one-word answers to a long text.

Maybe that's why ^whatshisface (blueberry man) had enough of me?

Anyways, guys, read this blog. It's fantastic.

coming soon.